From the Bottom Bunk
by MusketeerAdventure
Summary: Summary: Sonny comes to the realization that the perks of seniority extends to more than just deference and responsibility, but encompasses a little more than he bargained for - concern and a bit of care to name a few things.


From the Bottom Bunk

By: MusketeerAdventure

Summary: Sonny comes to the realization that the perks of seniority extends to more than just deference and responsibility, but encompasses a little more than he bargained for - concern and a bit of care to name a few things.

* * *

When he heard about their room assignment, the blood in his veins ran cold. So cold he shivered and pushed his hands deep down in his pockets. Shuddering in the ninety degree heat, he followed behind his team mates and reluctantly entered what he deemed to be Echo Team's space.

Stepping into the quarters he laid down his gear, surveyed the room cautiously; and wondered what it was he truly felt about this. Whose brilliant idea was this anyway? The hair on the back of his arms stood up, so he rubbed them vigorously attempting to stave off the chill.

Answering his own question, he supposed he felt lost in time; wary of ghosts, guarded – as if he were being watched. And as Brock and Clay made way to claim top bunks, as directed – Sonny frowned.

The temporary was almost bare, sparse and void of life. Beds lay empty – free of linen, the desk…. clear. Walls freshly painted a blinding white – were uncovered; and the floor…. curiously absent of sand. It was like new; as if no one had been here before them.

But beneath all the clean, under all the newly minted brightness – he could feel them. They had been here, lived here; and filled this place with life. Echo Team reverberated around this room and he felt the icy chill of them crawl up his spine. He could just about hear their voices; but not make out what they were saying. They were speaking to him – reaching out somehow; letting him know that it was them, Bravo Team, who intruded.

Closing his eyes he could imagine them here. Joking about, name calling, relieving unique tensions that only deployment brought with it – boredom; loneliness; sacrifice; violence.

Not a day went by that he did not think of them. His brothers, good men – lost; ambushed, betrayed, led to their deaths. Sonny grit his teeth and could feel the blood vessel over his left eye jump and throb. Rubbing the oncoming headache away, he knew what needed to be done. Because he was chomping at the bit – ready for someone to let him loose; give the order and let him do what he did best. Get answers; find the target and exact extreme justice….by any means necessary.

It was who he was, and nine times out of ten, he usually got results.

The sounds of jostling, grunting and moving furniture brought him back to the moment. Slightly amused, he caught sight of Clay and Brock pushing at each other; attempting to gain leverage in order to access a top bunk. Earlier he and Trent had made it clear to the young bucks that seniority got the lower bunks; the kids would go topside.

"Hey, I called it!" Clay gasped as Brock took a step up on the ladder; unable to keep purchase when Clay grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back down to earth.

"Why do you think you should get the window?" Brock countered back; Cerberus on his heels barking with excitement; turning in circles as if marking territory.

"Tell you what then" Clay pronounced, "First one up, gets it!" and leapt for the ladder as Brock grabbed hold of his waist, bringing him to the ground with him.

Laughter erupted from both men as they rolled around on the floor, each reaching for the bottom rung determined to claim the coveted window.

Hands on hips, Sonny watched them intently; his lips pressed tight. Just weeks ago, Echo Team was here in this very spot, probably horsing around just like this. His heart skipped a beat with apprehension, so he turned away from the light hearted scene.

Picking up his gear, he claimed the bottom bunk near the far wall. The wall where no sun light would reach and interrupt his sleep during the day; where the sand wouldn't seep through cracks and catch in his throat – where the moon and stars would not creep through and make him think of home; loss; widows, and fatherless children.

Peeking over his shoulder, he could see those two were not going to give up the fight. They were young, boisterous, and fearless. He had been like that once. Before loss, before too many deployments, before disappointments had set in and become a part of his personality. He was no longer young…..just dangerous.

Hearing those two clown around had him concentrating hard to remember when it was the last time he smiled with sincerity – let alone laughed out loud.

Suddenly Cerberus barked and all eyes turned upward to see her perched atop the bunk bed, front paws crossed, watching them with her head tilted to the side; ears perked straight up at attention…..the window an ornate picture frame of the setting sun glowing behind her.

"Looks like the stalemate has been decided", Sonny declared, clapping his hands in deference to the victor. Cerberus stood up then on all fours; head just about touching the ceiling and barked once, her satisfaction clear.

Untangling arms and legs, and lifting themselves from the floor – Brock moved swiftly and shouted, "I'm with her!" and threw his gear in a perfect arc to land deftly beside his partner.

Defeated, Clay grabbed up his bag and made to climb the ladder above Sonny's bottom bunk. Smirking, Sonny found himself actually laughing. "It's okay kid" he said, "I don't bite." Then gave a quick wink.

"No, he actually does." Brock intoned seriously; reclining with contentment, as Cerberus nodded in agreement.

* * *

It was hot up here in the top bunk. The air was stifling and heavy. He was going to drown in his own sweat. Clay could feel his hair clinging to his forehead and brushed away the wetness. The air conditioner wasn't working, and it was hard to sleep with the nearby fan only making things worse.

It was no wonder Sonny and Trent didn't want the top bunks. It had nothing to do with seniority and everything to do with comfort. Frowning, he kicked the sheets aside and exhaled loudly with exasperation. This was unbearable…..and so took off his t-shirt.

Nothing helped and he watched as Cerberus made her way down the ladder across from him; trotted across the floor, and silently left their quarters. Clay sat up and for the briefest of moments thought to follow her – take his pillow and sleep outside. Flopping back down, he stared up at the ceiling and dismissed the idea.

What would that look like if Boss happened by and there he was sleeping on the ground?

Looking up between the slats above him, Clay sighed and reached for the ornament left behind. A bullet hanging from a gold chain. Examining it closely, he wondered which Echo Team member it could have belonged to. He didn't know them the way the others did. But remembered the sorrow of their wives; the bewildered looks of their children; and Bravo Team's anger as word came they were lost.

Anxiety flip flopped in his stomach, so Clay placed the necklace back up in its hiding space. For some reason, he felt funny about holding it or even knowing about the carefully crafted secret place. Maybe he should leave it be. But still…he couldn't help but be curious about the story behind making a necklace with a bullet attached; and why it was left here at all.

Was it a good luck charm? Sonny called it a talisman. One like the creature in the Scooby van they all used as a touchstone in the hopes such magical powers was true and kept them safe. Reaching up again he pulled lightly on the chain, then caressed the sleek shell. "All just superstition", he whispered, but knew he would not be the one to buck tradition.

Turning on his side, Clay reached under his pillow and pulled out the shoestring band he had given Stella when he thought he was ready to commit. Of course it was asking too much of her to wait, of course he wasn't ready to get married…of course a lot of things.

But touching it now, made him think of her; of their apartment and what she must be doing now. He did lover her, didn't he? He thought he meant it when he asked her to marry him, but maybe he didn't. She didn't seem to think so.

Beneath him a thump shook his bunk; bringing him out of his own head.

"Stop moving around; and thinking so loud" Sonny moaned. "Get some sleep. You are keeping me from getting my beauty rest."

Clay rolled his eyes, and leaned over the side of his bunk to peer down below, only to see an irritated Sonny; forehead creased, rubbing his eyes with vigorous intent.

"Sorry man", he offered. "It's just hot up here."

"It's hot everywhere" Sonny clarified, giving the kid one of his best do as I say glares. Clay seemed unfazed only gaping back at him, expecting something from him. What he couldn't guess. So he decided to change tact.

"Well, just think about snow" Sonny advised tiredly. "Dream about frosty cold beer; a swim in the ocean…shaved cherry ice cones. Just go to sleep."

Apparently satisfied with that, Clay answered, "Okay", and lay back on his bunk. So instead of Echo Team; and lost opportunities he decided to follow Sonny's advice; breathed in slow and deep, then thought of Stella, holding his hand as they walked along the shoreline, sharing a saved cherry ice cone.

* * *

Pacing the room didn't work. Punching the wall had been sheer stupidity – because it hurt like hell. Throwing the chair was pretty satisfying, but he didn't think his team would appreciate the fact that now the only chair in the room was sporting three legs.

Flexing his fingers, Clay examined his knuckles carefully. He could feel them puffing up; and briefly considered what Boss would say about his self-inflicted injury.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid", he chanted and incrementally, bit by bit, began to feel himself wind down.

Checking out the cuts still bleeding on his hands and forearms, he thought to himself – the swollen knuckles fit right in.

Climbing up the ladder to his bunk, Clay thought over the day's events, and then took a seat – legs hanging over the edge. Still in his uniform; he had been too angry to stay and be checked out in the infirmary with his team.

A loud noise out in the yard caught him off guard and he flinched; ready to take cover, anticipating the rocket launcher missile blowing the room to hell. But instead of fire, flying glass, and crumbling walls – there was only the silence in the room and the muted everyday goings on outside the door.

Sighing deeply he counted to ten and concentrated on bringing his heartrate back to normal. After a moment he reached up for the talisman wedged in its hiding place and held it tight. Without preamble he looked out into the empty quarters and spoke to the unnamed soldier it belonged to.

"I almost got us killed today" he whispered despondently, and touched the many cuts on his neck and cheek. "Everyone got hurt and it was all on me." He thought hard about it and recalled the men climbing out of their vehicles; raising the rocket launcher; his brief hesitation…his warning – too late; the room destroyed, everyone barely making it out alive.

Shaking his head, Clay imagined the scene step, by step – replayed it in his mind like a broken record.

"I should have noticed sooner; reacted faster", he admonished. Then maybe they could have got a bead on the shooters; or evacuated the room before it ripped apart around them.

They were lucky to be alive.

A noise at the door got his attention and there was Sonny, standing stiff as a board; surveying the room – taking in the busted chair and hole in the wall. Crossing his arms, he seemed to be waiting; his head inclined to listen; the door left open – an invitation to leave and go somewhere.

Only Clay had nothing to say, and no intention of going anywhere. So instead swung his legs up onto the bunk and lay down to study the ceiling, caress the weight of the talisman and feel Stella beneath his head – his mind on other things besides Sonny's obvious indignation.

Wincing, he could feel the pull and sting of the many cuts and bruises he sported – knew he should follow Sonny back to see the Doctor; but he couldn't do it. Couldn't face them all – face Boss…knowing that it was his mistake that could have cost them everything.

Finally, Sonny broke the silence. Moving toward his own bunk he sat down wearily and combed fingers through his hair and rubbed roughly at his beard. "Come back with me now kid and maybe Hayes won't have your ass for disobeying an order; or chew mine out for not keeping my eye on you."

"I just want to be alone right now Sonny", Clay answered and turned his head to face the wall. Besides, there was nothing wrong with him that a hot shower and change of clothes wouldn't cure. He would feel better once he was all cleaned up, the blood washed away from his hair, his face and his hands. But right now, he was just too tired to move – to make the effort.

All he needed was to just be alone for a minute.

He must have fallen asleep, because when he woke, everything was in shadows and silence permeated the room. Over time Sonny must have heeded his wishes and left without him knowing.

Peeking over the side of his bunk, thinking to see the space empty below him, Clay sighed with resignation. There was no such luck. Instead of an empty bed, Sonny lay there with hands behind his head; feet crossed at the ankles – staring back at him with a wicked grin.

"Sorry kiddo that aint gonna happen", Sonny stated; continuing their conversation as if they had been speaking only moments ago. "No one's alone on Bravo Team. We all stick together…at nauseam."

Sitting up – he then stood to gaze up at their newest member and wondered why the kid was so hard on himself. The mission was as successful as it could be under the circumstances; they were all here to tell the tale. What more was there?

"So get yourself in gear before Hayes shows up and…."

"Too late, I'm already here", Hayes boomed from the doorway; looked to his men and added, "Climb down kid – you've got a doctor to see."

Placing the talisman beneath his pillow alongside the shoestring band for Stella, Clay reluctantly made his way down the ladder to face his CO. But before he could get a word out to explain himself, he was grabbed by the back of his collar and herded hastily out the door – Sonny actually laughing out loud in their wake.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. Also, I wanted to say a thank you to everyone who has read my other SEAL Team stories – especially to those of you who I could not respond to. Your thoughts and comments mean a great deal!


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